Loading Quotes...

“Yay Purim!” Comedic Short

A casual dinner party turns awkward in this video called “Yay, Purim!”

(Video was produced as part of our most recent collaboration with Dan Wolf and the JCC for a one-night Purim carnival/celebration called “Megillah 3.0″.)

KML Does Not Fear the End – Apoc-a-Con

Written and Directed by Njon Weinroth
Camera and Editor: Christopher Knox

Allison Page, Daniel McElroy, Gareth Marsh

KML ‘Does Not Fear the End’ – Apoca-Date

Written by Ken Grobe and Janne Campbell
Directed by Jon Burton

Brian Allen, Molly Benson, Janne Campbell, Millie DeBenedet, Joe Estlack, Matt Gunnison, Wylie Herman, Sarah Mitchell, Anthony Tupasi

WIN A DATE WITH MILLIE to our 15th Anniversary “Quinceañera” Prom!

Place your bid below to win a date to the KML “Quinceañera” Prom with our own stunning KML Company member, Millie DeBenedet!

She’s funny, she’s beautiful, and she’ll charm the pants off you! (KML cannot guarantee full removal of said pants.)

Bidding closes on Thursday, September 13th at 6:00PM SHARP!
(The winning bidder will be notified on the payment process.)

Check out the video to see what you can expect from a date with the one and only, Millie!

KML to Perform at ACT

ACT’s phenomenal run of Beckett’s ENDGAME has more than just the legendary Bill Irwin to brag about. Now it has us!
Join us following the 8 p.m. performance on Thursday, May 24, as Killing My Lobster presents a hilarious spin on the themes and characters of some of Beckett’s most famous works, from Endgame and Play to Waiting for Godot.

The performance will begin 15 minutes after the final curtain (approximately 10:15 p.m.). Possible sketches include “Hunger End Games,” “Cooking with Clov,” and a speed-dating sketch featuring Beckett characters.

Admission is free, and we’ll be on ACT’s mainstage! There might even be a special guest appearance by… Tony Award Winning Actor Bill Irwin.

Coffee Wars

A Ken Burns style documentary about the historic Coffee Wars of San Francisco, from KML Holds the Mayo. Watch more KML Digital Shorts at our official KML YouTube Channel.

Chicken Fried Lady

From KML Alum Andrew Bancroft (Jelly D) comes “Chicken Fried Lady“, one of four films showcased in our most recent sketch production KML Holds the Mayo.


From KML Hits Highway 101: A fabulous vacation wonderland awaits you on the other side of the Bay Bridge!

Super Toy Robot!

Step aside Saturday morning cartoon ads. Super Toy Robot is here to put you into manic bliss! We just added it to our YouTube Channel, but you can check it out right here. The latest invention from KML Toys, a subsidiary of KML. It’ll blow your mind!

Written & Directed by: Chris Parisi
Produced by: Damon Brennen
Music by: David Sophia-Siegel & Jonathan Kepke
Featuring: Andy Alabran, Leslie Waggoner, & Emily Morrison, with voice-over by Paco Romane

That’s a Spicy Meat-a-ball!

Like Italian food? Like slurping your spaghetti? Like helping a group of comedians raise some much needed dough? We thought so. Come on down to Pasta Pomodoro the evening of Tuesday, June 17 from 5:30 to 8:30 pm as Pasta P. donates 20% of their total revenue that night to Killing My Lobster. Mama mia, that’s friggin’ HUGE!

The great folks at Pasta Pomodoro’s 24th street location have pledged to help us out, so come on and eat some fine grub, drink some refreshing beverages and hang out with us. Invite your friends, convince your family, bring your friends. Your cash will go to a great cause.

Pomodoro – Noe Valley
4000 24th Street, San Francisco
Tuesday, June 17–from 5:30 pm to 8:30 pm
Phone: (415) 920-9904

Holiday Cheer for All

Plug in your tree, carve your bird, light your menora, and escape the holiday hustle-bustle with KML Holidays with Class, a staged reading of original sketches written by alums of KML’s Sketch Writing classes. The theme is the holidays and the gloves are off. Don’t miss this special, charitable one-weekend-only event–a special gift this Christmakwanzakah.

WHERE: Intersection for the Arts, SF
WHEN: December 4-6, 2009, 8:00pm — one weekend only!
TIX: $15 (15% of sales donated to SF Coalition on Homelessness)

Q+A with the Cast of KML For the Very First Time

Silly. Sexy. Smooth-spoken.

Those are three ways to describe the ladies of KML For the Very First Time, our new show running November 8 through December 8 at ODC Theater (3153 17th at Shotwell in SF).

We managed to squeeze five minutes into a recent rehearsal for the show to ask the director and the cast members three simple “first time” questions. Though beverages were not served, refreshment was certainly had in the form of these answers.

[Note: answers for the other cast members who were not present will be coming soon, by the miracle of e-mail technology...]

What was your favorite “first time” experience and why?

Shaye Troha (director): Taking my first race car driving course. It was so badass. It’s the only one I took, but I killed my time on the obstacle course and beat all the boys in my class. Hell yeah!

Erin Carter: Hearing Bel Biv DeVoe’s “Poison” for the first time. It was mind-blowing. With lyrics like “Don’t trust a big butt and a smile,” how could it not be?

Fontana Butterfield: I would have to say the first time I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior. I think I did it mostly cause I was at hippy bible camp, and when you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior you got to go up on stage in front of the whole camp and talk on the microphone. My other best first time was getting married for realsies at City Hall when Gavin Newsom did his whole we are the world thing. Ah, full circle.

Melanie Case: My favorite first time memory is my first time getting caught by the po-po. Yes, the first, which means there was a second, a third, and a fourth. These all happen to have been moving violations. What kind of “moving,” I can’t say. My friend Suze and I were 10 and got caught setting a fire at our elementary school. We weren’t arsonists; it was a controlled fire, as we were smart, and we had cleared a small area of brush and twigs so the fire wouldn’t spread. We were actually roasting hot dogs and pretending to be “tramps” like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. I fantasized about being a tramp. Not a slut, mind you— meaning, I wanted to run away. (Not sure about Suze.) Instead of running away, we went to buy hot dogs at the Dutch Goose (no, it’s not a made-up name) and poke them on sticks and roast them over a fire at our school. Why our school , I have no idea. Well, pretty soon the po-po came and swooped in to arrest us, and we kicked dirt at the fire and ran into the trees. About 30 seconds after that, I had fallen into a bush, and Suze was helping me get out of it, when over a megaphone we heard, “We’re sending the dogs out after you.” As I decided I didn’t want to be the German Shepherd’s hot dog on a stick, we had a moment of negotiation. “Should we run away? Should we run back? Should we run away? Should we run back?” We decided to run back to the cops, whence laughter began as they saw two 10-year old girls running out of the bushes. They asked us our names. “Susan Gardner,” she said, “Francine Delapetoisse,” I said. No, I didn’t. I said, “Melanie Case.” They again suppressed a laugh, as they had thought we were boys, due to our matching bowl haircuts. (I wore earrings, so they probably thought I was a progressive-Don Johnson-kind of -1988 boy.) They took us home as we cried in the back of the 4.0. The Shepherd went in the other cruiser, thank God. After they dropped us off at home, Suze and I did not see each other for ten years. Except at school, when I did see her, but we were no longer friends, because her parents thought I was a bad influence, which I probably was, so I no longer “saw” her. It was sad and tragic, except that she will probably come and see this show, so it’s not really that sad, or tragic. It’s actually kind of sweet. And somewhat heartwarming. Is your heart warm? Mine is. Moral: The po-po doesn’t always win in the end. Friendship is the ultimate winner.

Leslie Waggoner: The first time I met my best friend, I left my scarf in his car. He returned it to me the next day saying, “It smells like you! I slept with it all night!” That’s actually pretty gross, come to think of it.

Emily Jordan: Getting invited to do a KML show! This really is my very first time. KML is popping my sketch-comedy cherry. I’ve been waiting to do this ever since I was a little girly and first experienced the giddy egomanical thrill of comical clout, getting my Mum to laugh at my impressions of women in shampoo commercials.

Sarah Mitchell: My first memory unaided by photographic evidence. I was still in diapers. Well, just one diaper at the time of this memory. I got up in the middle of the night because I needed to use the baby ladies room. I remember stopping short in the hallway thinking oh wow, if I take the diaper OFF, I won’t be able to get it back ON. What should I do? I love that I had the critical thinking skills to understand the implication of my actions, yet I was still not to be trusted without a diaper at night. This is when you start wondering just how old I was when I was finally potty trained.

What was the worst “first time” experience you had?

Sarah: The first time I had to sleep the whole night without a diaper.

Leslie: The first time I went to The Power Exchange here in SF, I was trying to look in one of those open-top tents. Unimpressed with the goings-on therein, I briskly walked away, only to trip on one of the wires holding the tent down. My hands and face were sticky for the rest of the week.

Fontana: The first time I got a perm. The lady missed a section in front, so I had straight bangs and curly hair. Nice!

Emily: My first day at school. The day itself wasn’t actually too bad (my teacher was groovy in the way that British primary school teachers used to be and she played a folksy guitar), but I didn’t understand until I got home that evening that I had to continue going back day after day. I thought I only had to go once and that would be it. I’ll never forget being laughingly told that my time at school would most likely continue for another 16 or 17 years. Horrific news for a 5 year old. I’ll never understand what was so catatonically funny. Now I come to think about it my mother was far too prone to laughter when I was a child.

Shaye: Eating okra. That shit is slimy.

Melanie: Getting a root canal. Jesus, why? Do you have to ask?

Erin: Pooping in the woods. I just felt so exposed, and, well, my aim wasn’t so good back then.

What first time experience are you most looking forward to?

Leslie: The first time I can get Sarah Mitchell to shut up will probably be pretty sweet.

Emily: Ever since I was about 4 years old I’ve avoided any contemplation of the future. But on a serious note, I am always hoping that one day I’ll see a government that actually acts to prevent human misery rather than avenge it, or generate it, or ignore it completely. Other than that I’d quite like to be somebody’s mother – seems like that could be pretty hilarious.

Melanie: Directing a feature film, getting married, going to the Galápagos and Ecuador… can’t think of anything funny to say… I just want to have those first times.

Sarah: My first time in the cryogenic freezer.

Erin: Being invited to join the Martha Graham Dance Company after they see the incredible dance moves in KML For the Very First Time.

Fontana: Being called Mommy….hmmmm by a child (as opposed to my fans on the corner of 16th and Mission.)

Shaye: My directorial debut, bitches!

Special Thanks to our Patronizes the Arts Audience

A giant, painted sculpture of a heart goes out to each and every one of you for joining us at KML Patronizes the Arts! By attending the show, you helped support not only the KML actors, musicians, choreographer, costumer, and a bazillion other artists, but you also supported one of 14 different local guest artists who joined us over the course of the show. Maybe you saw a string quartet, or a slam poet, or the incredible Axis Dance company. Whoever you saw, go check ‘em out on their own turf!

While this show was all about supporting & celebrating the arts, it was also about finding your own inner Picasso, or Dame Judi Dench, or whoever you might be. So go pick up a paint brush, or an old guitar, or brush off that book of monologues and hop to it! Just do it, do it, do it, do it! If you need a little more motivation, peruse some of our cast’s creative thinking below.

Q: Are the stairs going up or down in Escher’s drawings? Where do they lead?
A: The stairs are clearly going in a top-wise direction. They lead to Endless Shrimp at Red Lobster.

Q: What is the Mona Lisa smiling about?
A: I’ve heard from a few people that she got a really good lickdown that morning by two different man sauces. Followed by a warm cup of milk, who wouldn’t be tickled pink? Meow.

Q: Please write a brief haiku about a conversation you had today.
A: Want to hang later?
No, I don’t care where we go.
Unless it’s Badlands.

Q: If the color green leaves a train station in Chicago at 6:00 pm, and is going at mauve miles per hour, what color is it when it reaches San Francisco?
A: Coffee.

Photography by Toby Sanderson

Ladies and Gentlemen: We Have A Winner

Thanks to all who made it down to the LGBT Center this past Saturday, for Crowded Fire Theater Company’s second annual Chili Cookoff (and fundraiser). The crowd? Hungry. The competition? Fierce. The judges? Slightly gassy (but can you blame them with that many varieties to choose from?) In the end, KML walked away with the title of Best Traditional Recipe chili (courtesy of our own Sarah Mitchell). A mini trophy is headed our way soon. We were also told our “Rappers Veggie Delight” flavor (courtesy of board member Katherine Daughtery) and our “Sleepless and Gassy In Seattle” (from our Northwestern native Shaye Troha) fared very well. We hope to be back next year with some savory new recipes.

Guest Artists Patronize KML

Patronizing “The Arts” is no small feat, and what better way to showcase the brilliant and talented independent artists of the Bay Area than by inviting them to appear with us in our upcoming original sketch comedy show KML Patronizes the Arts? Each night, we’ll feature a different local artist bringing their unique set of skills in song, dance, literature, rap, even politics… yes, that’s right, politics as an art form. Check out the full line-up of guest artists below, and be sure to reserve your tickets so you can admire them doing their thing.

Classical Revolution began as an informal chamber music gathering in November 2006 at Revolution Cafe. Their mission is to provide interesting and exciting chamber music performances in venues which are more accessible to a wider audience than the traditional concert hall. The group features musicians who have played with the San Francisco Symphony, Metropolitan Opera Orchestra, Santa Cruz Symphony, Sacramento Philharmonic, Philadelphia Orchestra, San Francisco Opera, San Diego Symphony, Baltimore Symphony, Houston Grand Opera, Berlin Philharmonic, Atlanta Symphony, Cleveland Orchestra, Los Angeles Philharmonic and many other distinguished groups.

DEBRA WALKER — Friday, Aug. 28
Walker exhibits locally, nationally, and internationally. Her work hangs at SF City Hall, the State Capital, and in hundreds of private collections. It’s been included in scores of group shows, including one at the Triton Museum in San Jose. Her art is narrative, political, and stirring. Her imagery embodies the themes: urban landscape, figurative, and social realism. Using mixed media, her paintings thrive on texture, composition, and a coaxing and pushing of the medium. She has lived and worked in San Francisco since 1981, teaching occasionally and working on social issues 24/7. Her community involvement includes serving as a building commissioner, chairing task forces dealing with the arts, planning, and education. Walker has served on the boards of dozens of arts and non-profit organizations. In addition to working on arts issues, she is involved locally in planning/development issues, arts education policy, and is working statewide on arts & education funding, and affordable housing issues. She is an elected official in both the local and state democratic party, and is running for Supervisor in San Francisco’s Sixth District in 2010.

FELONIOUS — Saturday, Aug. 29 (7pm show)
FELONIOUS: ONELOVEHIPHOP is dedicated to playing Hip Hop with a live band. The live instrumentation allows for an intricate musical texture featuring the pounding beats of Soulati (Tommy Shepherd), the reggae, latin, funk, and jazz bass lines of Illin Ills (Dylan Mills), KP’s (Keith Pinto) melodic vocals and keys, MC’s D.Wolf (Dan Wolf) and Infinite’s (Carlos Aguirre) poetic and rapid-fire lyrics, and Jon Monahan’s virtuoso guitar playing. Felonious has shared the stage with The Roots, De La Soul, Big Daddy Kane, DJ Premier, Black Eyed Peas, Zion I, Living Legends, Radioactive, Crown City Rockers, Psychokinetics, Shotgun Wedding Quintet, Raw Deluxe, and Dynamic.

THE FREEZE — Saturday, Aug. 29 (10pm show)
The Freeze is a collection of MC’s and musicians who form a Super Awesome Rap Team banded together to fight the everyday evil forces of life! Our super quest? Completely improvised freestyle rap shows where we take audience suggestions to inspire our songs. Members of The Freeze include teachers, broadway singers, television and web personalities, kick-ass musicians and friends. Everybody no name, rock, rock on…

FOR THE CAUSE — Sunday, Aug. 30
For The Cause (FTC) dance crew formed in October of 2009. In the short span of 6 months, FTC won 1st place at a statewide hip-hop dance competition and was declared “The Last Crew Standing”. Since then, FTC opened for hip-hop artist Ludacris, showcased in dance competitions, and opened for clothing line No Rival.

The Countess Katya Ludmilla Smirnofff-Skyy (mezzo-soprano). Recently named “Best Drag Act” San Francisco Bay Guardian 2008, has been enthralling bay area audiences for the last four years. Acclaimed for her operatic talents and brilliant timing, the countess has preformed in countless nightclubs, bars and resorts across the nation. She currently is a resident artist at the New Conservatory Theater Center where her third one “woman” show “Katya…What Becomes a Legend Most” played to sold out crowds. She is also currently playing the role of Petrushka in Thrillpeddlers “Pearl over Shanghai”. The countess hosts a monthly show “Katya Presents…” at Martuni’s Bar every third Sunday of the month, as well as a cabaret contest “The Cabaret Showcase Showdown” every first Sunday. Katya is the creation of San Francisco native J. Conrad Frank.

HOT PINK FEATHERS — Friday, Sep. 4
Where Carnaval meets Cabaret, Hot Pink Feathers performs World Cabaret Showgirl dance. Recently voted BEST DANCE COMPANY in the SF Bay Guardian “Best of the Bay” polls, the Feathers are committed to Delighting the World, One Showgirl at a Time. Led by the reigning Queen of Carnaval SF, Kellita, the Feathers embody full tilt joy and passion in a professional dance revue package. A Feathers show is guaranteed to bring smiles to each and every face in the house. These San Francisco-based dancing darlings are spreading the glitter gospel across the globe with their exuberant extravaganzas. Highlights of the past years in the life of Hot Pink Feathers include performing in Margaret Cho’s Sensuous Woman variety shows at the Plush Room and Bimbo’s in San Francisco and at El Cid in Los Angeles and sharing the stage with Rosin Coven at The Fillmore. You may also have caught the Feathers entertaining many millions of TV viewers on NBC’s America’s Got Talent. Hot Pink Feathers earned First Place in Original World Dance at San Francisco’s Grand Carnaval 2005 & 2006.

CAL SHAKES — Saturday, Sep. 5 (10pm show)
California Shakespeare Theater takes the classics and turns them, if not completely inside-out, then always at least a little bit upside-down. We take them outside, for one thing, to our breathtaking venue in the East Bay hills. We have parties and talk-backs and all kinds of events designed to make this a very un-classical classical theater experience. In addition to our main stage work, we also have a variety of educational offerings for youth and adults including professional development for teachers; and last (but not least) our New Works/New Communities program, brings disparate communities together around the creation of new American plays inspired by the classics–these days we’re adapting John Steinbeck’s collection The Pastures of Heaven with Word for Word and Octavio Solis, for a 2010 Main Stage production. Next up? Young lovers, human and fairy royalty, and an amateur theater troupe reel through romance and spellcraft in one of Shakespeare’s most hilarious and enchanting works, A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

JAMIE DEWOLF — Sunday, Sep. 6
Slam poet Jamie DeWolf is the creator of Tourettes Without Regrets, member of the Suicide Kings, HBO Def Poetry Jam performer and filmmaker whose work has taken him everywhere from Moscow, Russia to San Quentin Penitentiary.

CIRCUS CONSPIRACY — Thursday, Sep. 10
The Circus Conspiracy is in town! Our special agents and co-conspirators have traveled the globe in search of the latest in juggle, dance, comedy, and unicorns. Prepare yourself for the findings: ridiculous stunts, spectacular spectacles, and a whole lot of fun! The Circus Conspiracy is Brian Thompson and Matt McCorkle.

SCOTT WELLS & DANCERS — Friday, Sep. 11
Scott Wells has a colorful history of making dances in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is premiering Catch featuring master jugglers Aaron Jessup and Zach Bernstein. These boys do devilish things with up to 10 balls and they are also wonderful dancers and well trained in contact improvisation, which is one of Wells’ main instruments in dance making. The piece wedges uniquely between dance, circus and street juggling. Aaron Jessup is a second-generation professional juggler and acrobat. His solo career began in San Francisco, where he started performing his juggling, comedy and rope-walking act at 16 years old. He street performed through the US, Europe and Australia and performed with circus troupes. He is also a teacher of Contact Improvisation. Zack Bernstein has the extraordinary concentration and ability to manipulate objects through space, mesmerize audiences, immediately adding intensity to live performance. He is a teacher at the SF Circus Center and the co-founder of the performance group Capacitor.

AXIS DANCE — Saturday, Sep. 12 (7pm show)
AXIS Dance Company, one of the world’s most acclaimed and innovative ensembles of performers with and without disabilities, will change the way you think about dance and the possibilities of the human body forever. Founded in 1987, AXIS has become a jewel of contemporary dance and disability culture. AXIS has paved the way for a powerful contemporary dance form–physically integrated dance–performing in over sixty cities nationwide, as well as in Europe and Siberia. Under the Artistic Direction of Judith Smith, the company has commissioned works by such movement innovators as Stephen Petronio, Bill T. Jones, Joe Goode, Joanna Haigood, Sonya Delwaide, Victoria Marks, Ann Carlson and Margaret Jenkins. In addition, AXIS’ own choreographers have created over sixty repertory works, two evening length works and two works for young audiences. Dancers Rodney Bell and Janet Das will represent AXIS during this KML performance. Rodney Bell is of Maori ethnicity from New Zealand. He relocated to Bay Area from New Zealand in 2007 to dance with AXIS and is a founding dance artist for Touch Compass, New Zealand’s first mixed ability dance company. Janet Das is a native of the bay area and has been dancing and performing since childhood. She has a BFA from CalArts and an MFA from Mills College. She has danced for Trip Dance Theater, Molissa Fenley, Joe Goode, Leyya Tawil, and Katie Faulkner’s little seismic dance company. Janet joined AXIS in July 2008.

JELLY DONUT — Saturday, Sep. 12 (10pm show) & Sunday, Sep. 13 (2pm show)
Jelly D was born in Maine, the fat son of a Catholic nun and a pool hustler. Now repping the Bay Area, California, Jelly writes rhymes, produces beats, rap battles, and occasionally strums a guitar and cries softly. Jelly D took the Oakland battle rap scene and Internet by storm, and his beef with UK hip-hop star Lady Sovereign was coverred on Mtv’s TRL, Rolling Stone, and TIME, Blender. His lackluster alter ego “Andrew Bancroft” is a company member of KML.