I recently had to go through a stack of internship applications at my office, in attempts to find a great young man or woman to share the workload over the summer months. Below are some lines from the recommendation letters included in some of the applicants' files...

"What more can I say? If you want your print jobs done a few hours behind schedule and delivered with a surly attitude, Tom is your man."

"In the super burrito of life, Christine is like the lettuce: subtle, not likely to get soggy under pressure, and blends in with whatever ingredients with which you put her."

"Smell that? It's Al--and he's ready to work."

"Alls I'm saying is, the only reason we hired this dude was because we needed a lefty pitcher for the softball team, so if you have a softball team, hire this dude, and if you don't, you should consider forming a softball team, 'cause this dude is pretty good."

"About all this I should know; I used to change his diapers."

"At this point I am just a figurehead... a figurehead whose looking forward to meeting Ryan on the one day a month that I¹m actually in the office, doodling for four hours on the company stationary."

"When I think of Anton I think of two things: one unforgettable Christmas party and his discretion."

"Steve : Your Hiring Needs :: Canteen of blood: Thirsty Vampire."

"The only thing more unbelievable than Anitra's abilities in the workplace is the fact that this letter is written in honey mustard."

"To sum up, Wendy's truly does make the best chicken sandwiches."

"Chewbacca toy!"

"In conclusion, might you have a job for me as well?"