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HARRY POTTER 3
Hey there, Nerdfans.
I, like many of you, enjoy wizardry. I practice it a bit (level 3 warlock) and enjoy conjuring on my days off. I don't go in for the hocus pocus of your sell outs like David Cop-a-feel or other Blaine=lame bunny tossers. I'm in it to win it. And that means that I generally do not go near the namby pamby Hogwarts of Mr. H. Potter. I have not read any of the so called books. And while I am happy that kids are reading, I wish they were reading more about how to behave on the bus or how to not make fun of those of us with a little bit extra on the middle. I have enough self-image issues without a thirteen year old J-Lo wanna be hurling Dentyne Ice scented insults my way on the 22 Fillmore about how I don't need to be getting off at Burger King. Cause while Burger King is the main attraction at the stop, I am actually going for a organic chai latte to keep my focus up for my spell casting lesson around the corner. So who's cool, now?
The point is, my friends asked if I wanted to go see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Aakbakakahnstan and though my fellow Casters would have dropped their wands when they heard me, I said sure. So this movie is pretty long, but it also directed by the Y Tu Mama Tambien director and he is pretty good. I don't care what Christopher Columbus (the filmmaker not the explorer and pillager) did or ever does. That guy is a total waste of aura. I also don't really care much for J.K. Rowlings and whatever she writes. The movie was totally fine. It was not as insulting as it could have been. It lacked any real babe-factor at all. Unless you dig Emma Thompson in thick glasses (that means you Rob-Ron! Ha ha. Payback is sweet!) Anyway. The kid that plays the dork (oh wait... that's like all of them) the kid who plays the red headed dork is a real loser as well. At one point I hoped that Harry would just lean in and say Worthlessis Stooge-ous Evaporatis! Meaning worthless stooge be evaporated! Which is how their spells work. It's a lot like the real words, only jumbled a bit. I enjoyed figuring that out and I enjoyed this film. I am sure it will be eclipsed by Garfield soon enough.
But the best part was that a huge noise scared us all in the underground hell that is the parking garage at AMC Van Ness 1000. It was so funny when we realized it was just the vent. But it sounded like death. But it wasn't.
BEWLEY OUT! |
