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BOOSH!
After enjoying the Table Inventing Adventures of the Christ, I went to see the other religious cinematic offering this Easter and Passover week, Hellboy. I am going to pause before I get into the details of the film by offering a suggestion to the gaggle of fourteen year old hoodlums who run the venerable UA Theater in Berkeley on Shattuck. I don't know if anyone told you at your upsize training sessions, but when you ask people to spend nine dollars on a movie, it would be nice to have a) a picture that fits the screen, indeed a picture at all helps immensely through the previews; and b) sound that does not seem as if it is being broadcast through a mesh of steel wool. So some of you may be sitting in your barracks or your dorm room and saying "THE BEWL? What up dawg, why you no complain? Get your money back! Give em a piece of ya, like you did those two girls at Spirit, Legend of the Cimarron?"
Well... see, here's the thing. Those theaters don't usually give you your money back. They give you passes. And there is no way in er... Hell, that I am going back to that shit feast. You can keep your free passes, you incompetent tweens. You just gave that theater the kiss of death, cause my readers (Hi Mitch!) are no longer frequenting your establishment. UA is DOA. Bye bye! Let it be known that on this day I urge all Bewl-enthusiasts to never step foot in that theater/public toilet again. Shoulda flipped the switch assholes.
The movie was good. When the picture was on, it was amazing. Fun, good spirited, and the most adventurous hero movie I have seen since Spiderman. They are doing something now, which I must applaud. Finally they are making superheroes who are not clad all in black from head to toe. They actually give the unique color and comic book flash some attention. The fishy Abe Sapien is beautifully designed, as is Hellboy. And their bright colors are lit wonderfully, as if inked on the page, so you always know where the character is. The story of the character has always been a kind of overly thought out Nazi meets black magic kind of affair, and that stuff threatens to overwhelm the movie, but luckily the performance by Ron Perleman saves the day. His Hellboy is the Hellboy. Like Tobey Maguire, he nails the softer side of the hero.
Also kudos to the hi/lo Film Festival and their presentation of the documentary Monster Road. The story of a wild man living in Seattle who takes care of his father and makes truly terrifying claymation films in his basement, was well told and endlessly entertaining. One of the best things I have seen in a long time.
Bewley-out. Forever from the UA Theater on Shattuck |
