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The Passion of the Christ
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CHRIST! $8 to see you? Does that qualify as a sign? What the freak?
There is a lot wrong with the number one movie in America right now, especially when viewed at the Metreon. The main thing is that it is possible to pass people selling Street Sheet, play a video game where you have to slay people who get in your way, grab a coffee at Starbucks, and pay $10 to have nachos to watch The Passion of Christ. Ok. So mostly I am upset about the nachos. The guy next to me went to see The Passion alone, with a passion for fake cheese drip. And a cell phone. Uhmdoes that happen at church? I have not been in a long time, but if they added garlic fries and stadium seating, I am there. I mean pews? Hello, hard wood is out God, cup holders are in.
This movie ain't that great. I mean, go see it if you want to. The transexual midget coveting Devil is pretty creepy cool. And we learn that Jesus invented the table! Did you know that? I didn't know that. I mean yeah yeah, died for our sins, but TABLES! We owe tables to him. That might be more important to more people. That's like inventing latex paint! Thank you Jesus.
And I don't want to defend Mel Gibson. He's really a little nuts. Like crazy. But the anti-jewish thing is more anti-chaotic people of the Middle East, which the kindly, compassionate Empire must control. So campaign finance laws be damned, this manages to be the most widely seen endorsement of Rummy, Dick and Condy out there.
Other discs spinning on my DVD machine this week:
Mystery Men, how did they get this cast and still make a boring movie? Lenny, Dustin Hoffman as loony Lenny Bruce. Kind of strange offering my hero FOSSE! Capturing the Friedmans, DID HE OR DIDN'T HE? I still don't know. But I will never think about Leapfrog the same way again. Yeeeeuck. It was good to see those PET computers again though.
And in the Vancouver Aiport:
The Missing. Experience enhanced by being held in Immigration for 8 hours. Great flick. I felt like a captured frontier girl and so this movie really spoke to me.
That's it for now,
Bewley-out |
