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Hey gang! Water's risin!
And like my balls when they hit the pool, after seeing Northfork I just wanted to shrivel up and hide in the warmth of my intestines.
Look, I want to like the films these guys make. I mean, they know how to take an interesting story. Unfortunately they take it right to the crapper.
Brothers, direct it, fine, but let someone who can write, write it. There is an exchange in the middle among the wooden-handed Anthony Edwards, a trans-gendered Daryl Hannah (which I guess if you think about her name it makes sense.), and a guy in a feather wig who calls himself Cup of Tea. It was a weird scene to be sure, but at that point you're almost ok with it. But the text that they deliver is so wrong and just plain stupid, you can't even accept it within this bizarre context. It goes something like this:
Cup of Tea: Mother?
Hannah: May I?
Wooden Hands: Hmmmm... feathers!
Ok. That's not a direct quote, but it's not any better.
OH... I almost forgot the best part. Nick Nolte is in it.
Thank god he showed up for work. He whispers his lines, looks exasperated by the world, and does a totally crazy bath scene with a little kid where Nolte is dressed like an extra from Chicago. NOLTE!
And if you go, like I did, cause you were kind of into that indian spirit dog walking thing from the preview, don't waste the $9.75 matinee price (fuck you Embarcadero, fuck you, it's 2 pm on a Sunday, assholes, movies should be 4 dollars, 4 DOLLARS! What happened to you sense of decency? And what the hell, give me an ice tea in a bottle, you cheapskates, I can handle the bottle myself, I'm a big boy.). That dog walking thing is like the rest of the movie, cool to look at, with no story at all.
Bewley-out. |
