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The Bourne Identity & Buried Child
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THE BOURNE IDENTITY & BURIED CHILD
"Buy me a bottle."
"Who am I?"
"Don't you know who I am?"
"I don't even want to be me anymore."
"I don't like her. Let's go deep."
These snippets of fantastic dialog are taken from the two major events of my past week. And coincidentally they both start with "B" as in boorish or bunk. I'm speaking of course about Buried Child at ACT and the Bourne Identity at the Metreon. Let me start with the good one.
And this is a stretch, but Matt Damon, my sworn enemy (I refer you to the npr website and his recent interview with Terri Gross), plays someone who doesn't know what he is capable of. Gee Matty that's just like that character you played in...oh...wait, what crappy movie that was overrated and a piece of stinking poo? Oh yeah - Good Will Hunting. No, wait, maybe that was Spirit, Legend of the Cimarron? Or, oh - that movie I fell asleep in, the Talented Mr. Ripley. Gosh Mr. Damon, I wouldn't ever want to be typecast. You idiot.
So here it is again, he doesn't know who he is. He does some cool stuff with a ball point pen and some other MacGuyver-esque trickery, but the whole thing is just not that interesting. Who cares. Unless you're there to watch the German hottie from Run Lola Run. Now she is one cool gypsy with nothing to lose. That's what I like in a woman.
Then it was onto my second event. Buried Child.
ACT.
AC freakin T!
Dude. It sucks. I'll tell you this, your director should be buried in the back yard. This was soooo boring. I wanted to see this play, I wanted to like the play, and I got in free. But my favorite part was of the show was the grousing of the two season ticket holders in the seats behind me. And I quote, "It wouldn't KILL me to stay. But I could go. I may want to stay and see if it gets any better." They ended up leaving after the second (SECOND???!!!) intermission. My complaints are the following: Lousy hill billy music into each scene. The lights flicker non-stop to indicate a television being on, which really has nothing to do with the play, and is totally distracting. And finally, the woman playing the mother...oh god help you. I'm sure there was a reason they hired you. You should try and remember what that was.
I have decided that I am only going to see bad art after seeing this show. It inspires rage and passion like no good art can do.
Good luck to you all.
Bewley.
Out.
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