Contributed by Jon Wolanske With Contributions from Brian L. Perkins, March 2004

My life is a work-in-progress -- as is the book that documents it. I've been doing some thinking as to what I should name it when the baby is done. I don't know... What do you think of these titles? What's gonna make the cash registers sing?

 Sahara Hotnuts

 Sarcasm Is A Side Dish Best Served Cold: The Jon Wolanske Story

 How I Fought and Won The Korean War

 Dangle THIS Modifier!: My Time Teaching English Grammar to Street Toughs

 If Only My First Grade Teacher, Ms. Vinault, Could See Me Now--I'm Finally Taller Than Her

 The 32,025th Bowl of Top Ramen is the Tastiest

 Oh, Lanske!: My Life and Times

 No, Lanske!: Everyone Kept Me Down

 Mo' Lanske!: Oh-Lanske Unabridged, with a New Introduction by P.J. O'Rourke

 Po-Lanske!: I, An Oscar-Winning Director, Slept with a 13 Year-Old

 Faux-Lanske!: My Life In Costume Jewelry

 The Crow-Lanske!: I am Brandon Lee and I Faked My Own Death When the Hollywood Heat Got Too Hot

 Head To Toe-lanske: Dress Like a Champ

 SHOW! Lanske!: The King of One-Man Musical Theater

 Hold the 'H', My Name is Jon

 Andro-Lanske!: Me, Mcgwire, Bonds, Canseco, and Giambi -- All Major Leaguers Hepped Up On Steroids

 The Pottery that Grow-Lanske!: Chia Pet Friends is Better then No Friends at All