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Betting On Oscar
Contributed by Daniel Lee, February 2004
Inspired gambling or just plain Oscar obsessiveness? Below, Daniel Lee's Oscar pool ballot for this year. Rules, rants, and riotous ravings galore. If you'd like to enter it, you are more than welcome to, too! Send Daniel an e-mail and he'll tell you how to get the stuff to him...
THE DANIEL STATION OSCAR POOL 76
February 2003
Another year, another Oscar Pool. 8 years and counting. I hope it's still somewhat entertaining.
So my opinion of the Golden Globes has changed. I always thought that they were an embarrassment to the already embarrassing slew of awards shows, giving statues to Madonna (over Frances McDormand!) and my least favorite person in the world, Renee Zelwegger-- over and over and over again. Nurse Betty? Come on, Hollywood Foreign Press Association! But this year, miraculously, the HFPA got almost everything right. From The Office to Peter Jackson to Sofia Coppola and Bill Murray, the Globes became, in my mind, somewhat respectable. Perhaps still the bastard child to the Academy Awards, but a decent, upstanding bastard child.
Of course this doesn't really have anything to do with the Daniel Station Oscar Pool, except for the fact that I am pleading with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences: get it right for once! Be like the Golden Globes! There are some fantastic pictures this year and great performances that deserve recognition. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King and Lost in Translation are the best films I saw in 2003 (other than Spellbound, which technically was a 2002 movie, as it was nominated for Documentary last year), and it would be unforgivable if either gets ignored. The rules will reflect my intense bias towards those movies. I have also recently read the anti-Miramax tome "Down and Dirty Pictures," and I now see the company behind Oscar-winning schlock like Shakespeare in Love in a brand new light; you'll see evidence in rule number eight.
Monies and ballots are due by Sunday, February 29 at 5 PM. Good luck, and godspeed.
Rules:
RULE #1
Read all the rules. Failure to do so will cause an implosion in the Earth's core.
RULE #2
Winner takes all.
RULE #3
You must answer every question, regardless of whether or not you have seen the movies or know anything about the categories. Failure to answer a question will result in a negative value equivalent to that category's points.
RULE #4
Each category has been assigned a specific number of points, based on my arbitrary classification of importance. Spread the points across the nominees as you see fit. For example, for best director (9 points), you can put 9 on Sofia Coppola and 0 for anyone else, cleaning up if Coppola wins or leaving empty handed if she doesn't. Or, you can put 4 on Peter Jackson, 2 on Clint Eastwood, 1 on Fernando Mereilles, and 1 on Peter Weir, getting only 4 points if Jackson wins but covering your bases in case Weir wins.
RULE #5
The Oh My God I Give Up Rule: Renee Zelwegger. Fuck. I believe this is the third year in a row that I have had a rule about this hack. And contrary to my very vocal rants and raves, she's still around. And still getting nominated. And this year, seems to be the front-runner. So I give up. She's going to win. Vote for her. But, if you do, and by some miraculous twist of fate she loses, you will lose this entire contest, and owe everyone who enters $1 each.
RULE #6
The You Know What, Don't Vote for Her Rule: I amend rule #5-- any correct vote cast towards Renee Zelwegger will garner 0 (zero) points. That's right. You will only win points in the Supporting Actress category if you correctly pick someone who isn't RZ.
RULE #7
The I Love Naomi Watts Rule: If you remember the invective I hurled against one Renee Zelwegger in the Daniel Station Oscar Pool 74 (there seems to be theme for these pools), for stealing Naomi Watts' rightful nomination for Mulholland Drive by eating doughnuts and affecting a horrible British accent in Bridget Jones' Diary, you are aware of two things: 1) I hate Renee Zelwegger (see rules 5 and 6), and 2) I love Naomi Watts. She's miraculous. And hot. And Australian. Everyone seems to be gunning for Charlize Theron to win this year (she was admittedly great in Monster, especially in relation to the disastrous Christina Ricci) but I'm pulling for Naomi. Correct votes cast for Watts will be doubled.
RULE #8
The Harvey Weinstein is a Dick Rule: I haven't seen Cold Mountain. I haven't seen City of God. They are probably very fine movies. But one's a Miramax production, the other a Miramax acquisition. And according to Peter Biskind‹and approximately 95% of the film industry-- Miramax is pure evil. For every incorrect vote cast for anything or anyone affiliated with these movies, and Master and Commander, which is 25% a Miramax production, you lose double the points.
RULE #9
The Long Live LOTR Rule: Come on. Say what you will about Hollywood, but this is Hollywood filmmaking at its very best. Sure there were too many endings, and The Fellowship of the Ring is really the one that should have won (remember, it lost to A Beautiful Fucking Mind), but you can't separate Return of the King from the rest of the trilogy‹the greatest fantasy/adventure saga of all time (sorry, Star Wars and Indiana Jones). It¹s the front-runner, but I'm still rooting for it. Every correct point cast towards LOTR:ROTK and anyone connected to it will be doubled. See Rule #11 for exceptions.
RULE #10 The Lost in Translation is Just As Good Rule: But I also loved Lost in Translation, which was in virtually every way different from LOTR. Every correct point cast towards Lost in Translation and anyone connected to it will also be doubled.
RULE #11
The Will It Sweep Rule: In the event you correctly choose LOTR to sweep all categories in which it was nominated, you will win an additional 100 points‹as well as the double points per individual category (rule #9). BUT: if LOTR does NOT sweep, and you pick it to sweep, you will not earn the double points per category in rule # 9, only the actual correct votes cast. You must indicate at the top of your ballot whether or not you are predicting a LOTR sweep. (Votes in individual categories do not have to be exclusive to LOTR to predict a sweep).
RULE #12
Dark Horses I have again picked dark horse candidates-- those films or people whom I consider to have the least chance of winning. To encourage some risk taking, every correct point cast towards these dark horses will be tripled.
Dark Horses:
Picture: Seabiscuit
Director: Fernando Meirelles
Actor: Johnny Depp
Actress: Keisha Castle Hughes
Supporting Actor: Alec Baldwin
Supporting Actress: Shohreh Aghdashloo
Name: _____________________________ Paid? ______
Lord of the Rings Sweep? Yes/No (circle one)
Best picture (10 points)
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Lost in Translation
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Mystic River
Seabiscuit
Best director (9 points)
Sofia Coppola - Lost in Translation
Peter Jackson - The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Fernando Meirelles - City of God
Peter Weir - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Clint Eastwood - Mystic River
Best actor (9 points)
Johnny Depp - Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Sir Ben Kingsley - House of Sand and Fog
Jude Law - Cold Mountain
Bill Murray - Lost in Translation
Sean Penn - Mystic River
Best actress (9 points)
Keisha Castle-Hughes - Whale Rider
Diane Keaton - Something's Gotta Give
Samantha Morton - In America
Charlize Theron - Monster
Naomi Watts - 21 Grams
Best supporting actor (8 points)
Alec Baldwin - The Cooler
Benicio Del Toro - 21 Grams
Djimon Hounsou - In America
Tim Robbins - Mystic River
Ken Watanabe - The Last Samurai
Best supporting actress (8 points)
Shohreh Aghdashloo - House of Sand and Fog
Patricia Clarkson - Pieces of April
Marcia Gay Harden - Mystic River
Holly Hunter - Thirteen
Renee Zellweger - Cold Mountain
Best foreign language film (6 points)
The Barbarian Invasions
Evil
The Twilight Samurai
Twin Sisters
Zelary
Best animated feature film (6 points)
Brother Bear
Finding Nemo
The Triplets of Belleville
Best adapted screenplay (7 points)
American Splendor
City of God
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Mystic River
Seabiscuit
Best original screenplay (7 points)
The Barbarian Invasions
Dirty Pretty Things
Finding Nemo
In America
Lost in Translation
Best music (score) (5 points)
Big Fish
Cold Mountain
Finding Nemo
House of Sand and Fog
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Best music (song) (3 points)
Into the West - The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow - A Mighty Wind
Scarlet Tide - Cold Mountain
The Triplets of Belleville - The Triplets of Belleville
You Will Be My Ain True Love - Cold Mountain
Best documentary feature (7 points)
Balseros
Capturing the Friedmans
The Fog of War
My Architect
The Weather Underground
Best documentary short subject (3 points)
Asylum
Chernobyl Heart
Ferry Tales
Best visual effects (3 points)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Best cinematography (5 points)
City of God
Cold Mountain
Girl with a Pearl Earring
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Seabiscuit
Best art direction (5 points)
Girl with a Pearl Earring
The Last Samurai
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Seabiscuit
Best animated short film (2 points)
Boundin'
Destino
Gone Nutty
Harvie Krumpet
Nibbles
Best short film (2 points)
Die Rote Jacke (The Red Jacket)
Most (The Bridge)
Squash
Torrzija
Two Soldiers
Best costume design (2 points)
Girl with a Pearl Earring
The Last Samurai
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Seabiscuit
Best make-up (1 point)
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Best sound (4 points)
The Last Samurai
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Seabiscuit
Best Sound editing (1 point)
Finding Nemo
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Best Film Editing (7 points)
City of God
Cold Mountain
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Seabiscuit
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