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Some Questions before We Go to Mars
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| jan 19 - 25 |
| walking, nodding, pantless |
| hi: 50 |
| lo: 29 |
Contributed by Andy Rooney (edited by MJV), January 2004
President Bush has proposed sending someone to Mars (I can think of a few people who I'd like to send to Mars - starting with a certain Mr. Bush!). Perhaps, though, we ought to take care of a little housekeeping here on earth before venturing extra-terrestially.
And if we have few hundred billion dollars just kicking around I would like to see if we can wrap up some of these outstanding tech-related issues:
1) Isn't there anyway I can stop getting so much spam?
2) Why, whenever I sit down with my cell phone in my pocket, do I have a 50/50 chance of accidentally dialing my friend Abby in Brooklyn?
3) Should microwavable pop-corn still be such a crap shoot? Can't someone just tell me exactly how long to put in for without me having to stare through the glass for between two and four minutes.
4) Why are garden hoses such a pain to coil and uncoil?
5) How come I can read some Word attachments and not others?
6) Why do printers get cheaper and not better?
7) Doesn't there seem like there should be an international standard for plugs by now?
8) Is resealable packaging for sliced ham all that it could be?*
9) Faxing. Why are we still faxing?
10) Before we spend all that money sending someone to another planet - and a red planet at that - could someone please come up with something to catch toe-nail clippings so I don't have to pick them out of the bathmat every time I give myself a pedicure?
* This is rhetorical, clearly it is not. |
