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Everything I Need to Know I Learned Growong Up in West Virginia
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| dec 22 - 28 |
| rich in love, poor in all that is not love |
| hi: 50 |
| lo: 22 |
Contributed by Sara Webb, December 2003
Part of a series.
1. Don't assume there isn't a wasp in your shoe.
2. If your shoe gets sucked off your foot when walking on a muddy road, you sure as hell shouldn't drive on it.
3. Always put plastic on the screen windows of your outhouse in the winter. Snow on a toilet seat first thing in the morning is not pleasant.
4. It takes about 40 buckets of snow to melt enough water for a bath, so KEEP YOUR CISTERN UNDERGROUND SO THE WATER DOESN'T FREEZE.
5. Never kill a blacksnake in your yard--it means there isn't a copperhead in your yard.
6. When walking in the woods during hunting season, make many noises that aren't deer-like.
7. Don't assume there isn't a wasp in your bed.
8. Most people who see strangers walking in their field will shoot at them. Always know your neighbors.
9. If using powdered milk on your cereal (because you don't have a fridge), reconstitute the milk in your bowl BEFORE adding the cereal.
10. If your dog is growling at something up ahead and won't go any further, it's probably a bear. Or a mountain lion.
11. Don't expect to be successful at subsistence farming on a ridge top‹all the good soil has washed down into the valley.
12. If you build your house by a creek, don't complain when it floods.
13. If a rabbit falls in your well, the water should recycle itself within two weeks.
14. If you tell someone you're from West Virginia and they think you meant Virginia, kick their ass. |
