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Everything I Need to Know I Learned From my 60-Year-Old British Uncle
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| dec 8 - 14 |
| tubby, stubbley, available |
| hi: 54 |
| lo: 30 |
Contributed by MJV, December 2003
Taking a page out of Comrade Wolanske's Playbook (see last week's forecast) I considered what immortal lessons my British uncle has imparted to me.
1. If you queue long enough you can get tickets to anything. Including Wimbledon.
2. When feeling peckish nothing hits the spot like some very tangy Hungarian salami.
3. Knee surgery is a bitch the first time. It's a mother*&$! Bitch the second, third, and fourth times.
4. Always try to discourage well wishers from only bringing historical biographies to read while recovering in hospital.
5. Cigars are totally disgusting --- for the smoker, for the nephew sitting in the same room as the smoker, for everyone concerned.
6. When traveling in the Far East know when you and your wife want to sample local fare and when you want to spring for the Western hotel room so you don't spend the entire holiday sleeping terribly on tatami mats.
7. When traveling in Italy know which side of the road to drive on.
8. Being a nice boss is great, getting robbed by your staff sucks.
9. Even without formal schooling the artwork of Damian Hirst can be hilarious.
10. There are few simpler pleasures than watching a lifelong professional slice smoked salmon. |
