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Bringing part of the World to Another part of the World
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| sept 22 - 30 |
| congested, clammy, stuck in the carpool lane |
| hi: 92 |
| lo: 61 |
Contributed by MJV, September 2003
Dad, mom, three kids mime getting in a car at one side of the stage.
Kids immediately fight in the backseat.
Sandy: Are we there yet?
Bobby: I have to to the bathroom!
Billy: Mom, bobby is touching me!
Bobby: Dad! Billy is touchng me!
Sandy: Hey guys! I'm touching myself!
Bobby and Billy: Gross!!!
Dad (pulls over abruptly): SHUT UP! Next person to talk can walk from here to the other side of the stage... got it?
Dad starts driving again
Sandy: Got it
Dad pulls over
Dad: OUT!
Sandy: What'd I do!?
Dad: You answered my rhetorical question, buster, you're walking.
Sandy gets out of the car pissed off, walks across the stage, waits, pouts.
Dad, Mom, billy and bobby arrive, get out of the car.
Mom: Well, kids here we are. Sorry we couldn't afford a vacation this year, but I hope you guys like this museum.
Sandy: I hate museums!
Dad: You wanna go home?
Sandy: (pause) is that rhetorical?
Bobby punches Sandy.
Lester, the animatronic docent, enters mechanically
Lester: Welcome to the Apex Technology Museum of Anthropology and African Knick Knacks. I am your animatronic docent Lester. Ask me if you have any questions. Ask me if you have any questions. Ask me if you have any questions.
Bobby punches Lester.
Lester: You'll find our exhibits wedged in the far corner next to the snackateria and behind the gift shop as you exit the museum. While you're here and not on an expensive foreign vacation we hope you'll enjoy our documentary which is starting... NOW!
Lights go dark, projector sounds, film appears on a screen:
Promo graphic of the world spinning
VO: The Language of Film is universal.
French accent: The Language of Film is universal.
Spanish accent: The language of film is universal.
Russian accent: Language of film is universal.
British: The language of film is universal.
Cockney: The language of film is universal.
Southern: The language of film is universal.
Valley Girl: The language of film is, like, totally universal.
New York: The language of film is friggin' universal.
Boston: The language of film is universalÉ.and the Sox should never have traded Clemens.
New York: Whatever, you got Nomar.
Valley Girl: Like what are you guys talking about...
VO: and now our feature presentation...
Graphic of: Apex Technologies presents: The People of Kagera.
Photo of a hut in the jungle, generic bull shit African feel good music... eg. Paul Simon.
VO: The sweet smells of ugali cooking waft up from Yusaveni's home here in the foothills of the Ruwenzori mountains. The starchy meal she makes comes from a recipe she got from her mother, who got it from her mother before her, who got it from the internet...
Soft dissolve into photo of African man bicycling down a road.
VO: Tatu makes his way to the local market each morning to buy and sell goods the way his parents did and their parents before them. Trading coffee for rice, cornmeal for flour, and soapstone for long distance telephone service...
Soft dissolve to boats on Lake Victoria.
VO: Here on lake Victoria the people of the Kagera ply the bountiful shallows using time honored techniques to reel in staples of their diet: tilapia, Nile perch, monkfish, wireless cable routers, personal digital assistants and gameboys...
Soft dissolve to two people dancing.
VO: The social life of today's Kagera is identical to the way it was for their ancestors. Historic rules of courtship are followed to the letter allowing Mbili and Serafina to spend time alone in chat rooms instant messengering one another, sending text messages from village to village and shooting each other e-vites to traditional gatherings on important festival days using a full line of blackberry pagers.
Soft dissolve to photo of Lester dancing with another robot both in brightly colored pants.
VO: This is a photo of Lester dancing with another robot in brightly colored pants.
Soft dissolve to photo of African village.
VO: Yes, life stands still in some corners of our busy planet. But thanks to Apex Technology the people of the Kagera are able to hang on to their heritage without missing a beat... or a fax!
Split screen slide (or use of multiple slides) to show African man plowing a field and Lester in an office sending a fax.
VO: Apex Technology bringing the world to the other part of the world.
Lights up
Lester: Thank you for watching our infomentary (herding family off stage). All of the products mentioned in the film are on sale in the gift shop. Now let's go Buy stuff. Buy Stuff. Buy Stuff.
Billy: I want a traditional cell phone!
Bobby: I want those pants!
Sandy: I wanna go touch myself. |
