Recently a few of the cast members of KML Kisses a Toad and director Melanie Case sat down to answer a few trivial questions related to fairy tales. A secretarial troll took notes and edited them for this website...

1. If you were an old woman forced to live in a shoe, what kind of shoe would it be, and why?

Andy Alabran: One of the big boots that the Three Muskateers would wear. Ya know? I like those high ceilings and maybe I could make it a two-story loft.

Andrew Bancroft: Downhill Ski Boot.  The ultimate in shoe-home security, and fully mobile with the additional purchase of ski foundation.

Tonya Glanz: A low top sneaker: ventilation and durability.

Nick Olivero: I was always jealous of those kids in the Reebok “pump” shoes… 

Jon Wolanske: Remember those Easy Spirit shoes? “Looks like a pump; feels like a sneaker.” That’s all me—something flashy on the outside and all about comfort and support on the inside.

2. Who would win in a fight: Mother Goose or the Brothers Grimm?Melanie Case: The mother goose, man-- she’s a canard, she’s got wings, and ‘cause she’s got maternal instincts. And that crazy hard-ass beak.Emily: Do the rules of engagement prohibit her from bringing the goose? If so, the odds would favor the brothers. If she COULD bring the goose, however, it would be MG all the way. I have such a strong memory of a book of Mother Goose rhymes I had as a kid and the goose on the cover was freakishly large and mean. Tonya: The brothers grimm! I mean, she's a goose. That's like saying would Oprah or the Baldwins win in a fight. 3. Which fairy tale does your life most resemble—and why? Andy: "Goldilocks and the Three Bears". I'm looking for that "just right" thing, too. I know how she feels! Nick:  I am reminded about the tale of “The Mouse, the Bird, and the Sausage.” I have always been the odd man out.Tonya: “The Princess and the Pea.” I toss and turn a lot!

Andrew: "The Ugly Duckling." I was a chubby child.  My Mom called me "Jelly Donut." But then I grew up to be a big, white bird.

Melanie: “Cinderella.” Because I’m ALWAYS working and cleaning public toilets andshit. But I’m just wearing a dirt-suit which hides my true nature—--my birthright—--my royalty.
4. Magic Beans or Pixie Dust? Andrew: It's not really an either/or situation, yo.  You wanna down a few Magic Beans and a Redbull while the DJ's warming up, then, when the music starts bangin' -kazooba!- ya hit the Pixie Dust.

Jon: In this part of the world known for the famed Mission-style burrito, I’d be remiss if I didn’t go with beans. Pinto beans basically  are my magic beans. Melanie: Pixie dust. It’s all about enchantment.  
5. If "KML Kisses a Toad" had a "moral to the story" what would it be? Mel: An unhappy ending can be happy ending—depending on how one looks at things. Remember the old adage, “when a door closes, a window opens.” What may seem horrible or disappointing may in fact be fantastic and rejuvenating. Death from poisoning is just a bridge to another kind of Neverneverland.   Tonya: If you bring pot cookies to rehearsal, be prepared for the consequences.

Andrew: Ummm, follow your heart?  Stay in school? I don't know... I'm a troll

Nick: Drink plenty of beer during intermission, and don't piss off a teapot.

KILLING MY LOBSTER KISSES A TOAD March 3-13 The Yugen Noh Space, 2840 Mariposa Street, SF

Performance Schedule:March 3rd, Opening Night, show at 8:00 --- pay what you canMarch 4th 8:00 showMarch 5, 7:00 & 9:00 showsMarch 6, 7 pm showMarch 9, 8:00 show --- pay what you canMarch 10, 8:00 showMarch 11, 8:00 showMarch 12, 7:00 & 9:00 showsMarch 13, 7:00 showTickets: $17 and $12 for students with IDBuy them now on our secure server!

Or at the door on the night of the performance.