Sinfully Delicious: Why we should all embrace Sin City as the New Noir

by Tonya Glanz / Special to KML.com

Sorry guys, I have been really fond of the colon lately. And by that I mean: punctuation.

So, this week I finally saw the highly anticipated 'Frank Miller’s Sin City', directed by Renaissance man Robert Rodriguez, creator Frank Miller, and a guest spot by America’s favorite: Quentin Tarantino. I crapped my pants over this movie, just like I crapped my pants over Pulp Fiction, Sky Captain, and Moulin Rouge. Jesus, I would fuck Baz Luhrman HARD for that one. But that’s another review...

The film is shot in black and white, which I embrace because I feel that color films, and ‘talkies’ for that matter, are overrated. Who’s going to make the next big silent film? Maybe me, maybe somebody with balls like Robert Rodriguez. The point is I celebratethe risk takers.

Anywho, it looks absolutely stunning. The imagery borders animation with the splashes of color against the dark black and white world of romance. If anything else, even if you hate violent revenge films, you should love the way this film LOOKS. If not, fuck you, you have no soul. And you probably liked Love Actually.

The film seems to be Rodriguez’ Pulp Fiction (ironic, since Tarantino guest directed, ironic since they worked together before on From Dusk Till Dawn, further ironic by the opening scene featuring a certain Mr. Willis driving along a highway with only the companyof his internal monologue-hmmm, makes me miss Uma), and it is a masterpiece. There are three separate story lines that are revisited and overlap each other. My favorite story followed the always sexy Bruce Willis. Man, he was hot on Moonlighting and he’s even hotter now. Apparently Jessica Alba’s stripper persona thinks so too, which provides for some hot Alba on Willis make out action. Speaking of hot: the ladies! Like any good noir flick, the femme fatales are abundant, and fatale is an understatement (think hookers blowing people up with machine guns). Rosario Dawson looks so good in leather, it would make Cody Chestnut proud. But seriously, can she keep her mouth shut? She sucks. Okay, I said it. She was discovered sitting on her front porch-what does that tell you? She is a pretty face, a very pretty face, but please, do the next Rodriguez silent film and spare us all from your over emotional spatter.Besides Alba’s Honey-esque dance moves, my favorite female moment of the film comes from the eccentric and often annoying Brittany Murphy. She is perfect as the quirky barmaid that Clive Owen (Jesus, that man can butter my crumpets anyday) seeks to protect. Maybe the only reason I like her is because she delivers my fave line in this beauteous film: Clad only in a black lace bra and a man's white collared shirt, hanging out the window with hair blowing, through her pouty pair she utters: “You fool. You damn fool.”We all had a chuckle at that one. Rodriguez acknowledges the genre enough to remind us of the basics, but spices it up so much with his violence, sex, drinking, drugs, guns, that we also feel like we’re watching Oz. This was destined to be great and it is. Frank Miller, the author of the comic book series, designed the sets precisely from the comics(the film was actually done a la blue screen), co-wrote and directed this film. If it sucked, well, then who’s the asshole? The cast (with the exception of a horrible Michael Madsen performance-you were great in Kill Bill V.2, but just stop) is great and abundant: Marley Shelton, Josh Hartnett, Rosario Dawson, that young girl from Gilmore Girls, Benicio Del Toro, Bruce Willis, Elijah Wood, Mickey Rourke, Jamie King, Devon something, Clive Owen, that creepy kid from Carnival, blah, blah blah. And any movie starring Benicio Del Toro and Bruce Willis has to be at least decent, right?Jesus, how I would love to be in a Benicio and Bruce sandwich. Not for sexual gratification, but I bet they could give some really good acting pointers. The one flaw, and might I say minor flaw is that this film does seem to drag at points. But it is so rad that you are still entertained.

My final Grade: A-*Oh yeah, if you don’t have the stomach for flying body parts, cannibalism, ax wounds, amputation, gaping cuts, violent beatings, beheadings, raw sex, bullet wounds, heads pushed in human shit, sword fights, drowning, car accidents, death by hanging, and fiery explosions, then don’t go. It’s not that good anyway.