Andrew Bancroft

The Last to hear about how bad the back of my haircut is- Me

Best sign that you are, in fact, a child of Satan - Squealing piglet head growing out of your sternum

Best invention I had a dream about and was disappointed to hear didn't exist upon waking up - Greased-up Laser Rollermonkey

Most Underrated Time Machine Destination - Mongolia, 1195, that time Ghengis Khan farted at a banquet

Closest guess to how many jelly beans are in the jar - Olive Mitra

Best employer of sexist jokes to horrify loved ones at your family Reunion - Grampa

Highest - Dude that's been watching screen saver for past 3 hours

Best in show - Your face! Oh snap!

Best sketch/joke that never made it into a KML show – The Walsh Family Band

Sketch most likely to get a standing ovation at a KML show – Shaye Troha’s Mom

The Worst - When you like, step in dog crap right outside your house.

Worst idea for first J-Date - tie: Burning Man’s Thunderdome/ NCTC’s Queer Carol

Class Clown - Eric Schniewind

Clown - Nick Olivero

Least likely to lick my nipples and call me princess anymore- 3-way tie: Alex Estrovitz/ John Kovacevich/ Joel Dovev

Most likely to suck seed - Andy Alabran (heyyy!)

Most underrated goodbye phrase - smell ya later

Tonya Glanz

Ugliest child of the year - heidi klum and Seal's sons.

Smelliest fart(s) -After a long night of partying, my friends and I were sitting in my living room. I was curled in the fetal position on one end and wendy was sitting next to me. So my butt was aimed right at her. They kept slipping out but I had no idea it was happening. Then suddenly the couch smelled like it was being burned with some illegal chemicals. Wendy kept begging me to stop and kept opening the window, but I was freezing so I kept on making her close it. As soon as she would, a few more would slip out. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the root of comedy.

Man of the year - Sasha Baron Cohen

pop single of the year - "crazy" by gnarls barkley

Best Craigslist posting - pretty much anything on rants and raves. There was one really great one about a man complaining how his wife always wants to do anal, but she is not hygienic.

Creepiest myspace page - definetly inky wonky. http://www.myspace.com/inkywonky

best viral video - tie between britney's late night stoner session and dick in a box.

best celebrity vagina - while there have been many good ones, I have to go with Britney. All of the celebs have had the same 'look' (fully shaved), Britney really edged out the competition by accesorising: c section scar. best fake food - fake chicken nuggets worst fake food - fake bacon

best reason to step away from the computer - reality

Best catchphrase of the year - tie: "KRUNK!" and " I am sick of these mother f'in snakes on this mother f'in plane!"

Best celebrity apology - Sienna miller's for referring to Pittsburg as 'shitsburg'

Best SPAM subject line - "bored with your job? Become a cop."

Best two songs you wish they'd make a mash-up of - tenacious D's "fuck her gently" and "America the beautiful"

Best awkward interaction of 2006 - tie: being asked if I was preggers while drinking a cocktail and having my breasts openly groped on the dancefloor of the company holiday party by a man i later found out has no speen (thus explaining why he was openly groping co-workers breats after 3 cocktails and was hunched over on the dancefloor breathing heavily).

Best reason to wake up early on a Sunday - brunch at fattoush and thrifting in the mish.

Best example of "making it work" (As “Project Runway”s Tim Gunn would say) in 2006 - I had plans to do some 'recreational' activities in nature with some friends on a Saturday. We had plans for weeks. Then the weather report came out: rain. One friend wanted to cancel. And I said "pack your rain boots". We bundled and headed into the wilderness, the unknown, and the deepest darkest corners of our subconscious. And you know what? The sun came out at china beach that day.

Worst motherfucking politician of 2006 - laura bush. Okay, I know she's not a politician but I hate her face. Dirty Stepford Wife.

Best idea of someone else's you wish was your own in 2006 - youtube

Best/worst smell of 2006 - best: tartine. worst: walking down mission between 16th and 17th on a particularly georgous 90 degree day, which brought out the smells in the sidewalk. The warm combination of vomit, fish, and shit made me dry heave not once, but twice before turning onto 17th.

Best waste of money in 2006 - cover charges for dance clubs and service charges for concert tickets

Best new title of your memoirs that you thought of - 'hiking in heels' or 'Hey! Isn't that my margarita?'

Best stranger of the year you kept seeing on MUNI, in your neighborhood, at your gym (wherever) that you will never introduce yourself to - I actually did introduce myself to 'the small guy from sf state".

Best play - theatre de la jeune lune's 'the miser' at Berkeley rep

Most important film this year - An Inconveinient truth

Runner up: Evolution: The Musical!

Wylie Herman

1. Best song: "Dick in a Box"

2. Best gift idea: see above

3. Best snuff film disguised as a documentary: "The Bridge"

4. Best snack to eat while viewing "The Bridge": “Funyons”

5. Worst use of parenthesis on a snack food: "Funyons"

6. Best buy: Best Buy

7. Most overused writing device of 2006: Meta Narrative

8. Best thing to think about while compiling a list: "I better make #8 super clever while subtly referring to #9."

9. Final sign of the apocalypse: Dustin "Screech" Diamond sex tape

John Kovacevich

Best "don't blink or you'll miss it" performance in a Will Smith movie (Eric Schniewind and I can share!): John Kovacevich in The Pursuit of Happyness

Virginia Schmitt

1. MOST uncomfortable interaction with a complete stranger - The time that guy asked me where I got my sexual reassignment surgery on the corner of Market and Van Ness.

2. MOST god-awful bastardization of "A Christmas Carol" - this one's a toss-up between The Canyon Theatre Guild of Valencia's "A Christmas Carol - The Musical" and "A Queer Carol" (now playing at NCTC!)...yep, it's gay...and I know what you're going to ask, and the answer is, "Yes, Tiny Tim has AIDS."

3. Best Onion Headline - a three-way tie for me - "Ho Ho Ho I Saw You Masturbating" http://www.theonion.com/content/node/56321 or "Pedophile Less Interested the More He Views 13-Year-Old's MySpace Profile" - http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46453 OR "Study: Alligators Dangerous No Matter How Drunk You Are" http://www.theonion.com/content/node/48203

4. MOST Disturbing/Absurd thing overheard on BART - "I mean, I'm only 13, I can't be havin' no baby....maybe my parents will help me"

5. MOST fantastic personal discovery - www.GoFugYourself.com and also, the fact that i'm better off stage managing than compiling best-of lists... thank you for your indulgence!

Eric Schniewind

The Best Best List Entry of Best Lists for 2006 - This one!

Worst Trend That Won't Die Because It's too Cheap to Make - Reality TV

The Least Exciting Celebrity Citing – Beret-toting host of “Mythbusters” at SF Courthouse

The Most Comically Inherit News Story of 2006 – Dick Cheney Shoots Friend in Face

The Best Short Month of 2006 - February (wins again!)

The Best Internet Distraction at Work - Headline Contest for “Overheard in New York”

The Most Comically Inspiring KML email of 2006 Stolen by Jon Stewart - Jimmy Dean's Hot Dog on Stick in Pancake with Chocolate Chips

Worst Movie about Penguins - Snakes on a Plane

Worst Answer to “Funniest Cat Picture of 2006” - Oh man, there's this one where the cat looks like a human...

Jon Wolanske

Best overheard utterance in a bathroom stall -- November, 2006--hearing a guy say into his cell phone "because I'm the best!" then fart immediately afterward--as if it were the exclamation point..

Best backhanded compliment of the year -- Being told my performance in "Hunter Gatherers" reminded someone of their abusive, alcoholic ex-husband.

Favorite single of the year -- "Kick, Push" by Lupe Fiasco 

Favorite beverage of the year -- Anything with those weird boba balls in them (thank you for the introduction to them, TG!)

Best Yelp posting of the year -- It's still my favorite from last year, the write-up for the mission bar The Napper Tandy: " holy shit this is ike the worst food i've ever had to pay for. seriously, I would rather have a "moons over my hammy" at Denny's than anything from this rotten kitchen. My frist try at the Napper I ordered a caesar salad-what i got was iceberg salad max (complete with little shredded carrots) and WISHBONE ITAILIAN DRESSING. that's right, wishbone Italian. That's right, on a Caesar. the second time I was there drinking and my friend insisted on eating-I warned her, tbut my attempt was futile. a quesadilla. literally the kind you make at home when you are wasted-two torillas grilled with shredded american in the middle. that's it. oh and a ramekin of sour cream. i watched another friend ruin his night by ordering pork chops-about a centimeter thick and dry as my mouth after a four foot bong rip. you have been warned..."

Best idea someone else had that I wish I had first for online merchandise -- www.babytoupees.com

The Best -- The foodcourt at the new San Francisco Shopping Centre